Tuesday, July 05, 2005

My Day

Today, Yak, Grace and I had loads of fun at Yak's room. I reached Yak's house at around 8.15pm, expecting them to have fun before I joined them.

I asked Grace: "So what have you been doing?"
Grace replied with a straight face: "Self entertaining".

Enough said.

She actually means that Yak is a really poor host you randy people. I mean, who would be so kinky to interpret it in THAT KINDA manner right?

But of course, as usual, Ivan The Innocent always becomes the victim in any circumstances you can imagine. I was physically abused by the vivacious, violent and wild Grace.

She opened off with 1 huge slap onto my left upper arm. And mind you, that's been the source of so much other physical abuses inflicted by my "dear" classmates and "dear" friends. "Surprisingly", all abusers were girls.

MAN IS THAT SHOCKING OR WHAT?!


CASE 1
Time of Crime: 1301
Location: Catholic Junior College
All the other crap: First up we have my dear classmate Sonia who slapped me cause I shouted out loud when I couldn't find her. I said this: "Now where is that true blue blonde Sonia?", without realising that she was just standing right behind me. PIACK! There goes #1.

CASE 2
Time of Crime: 1316
Location: Bus Service 105 (SBS)
All the other crap: Next, my even dearer classmate Melissa was standing beside me on the bus and we were chit chatting about everything under the fucking disgusting aircon. She was telling me how her friend called her "Plasticine Face" and I was like, "Oh really?" and reached out to pinch her cheek. Piack.

CASE 3
Time of Crime: 1525
Location: Mango Boutique
All the other crap: Following closey we have an encore by Melissa! She picked up a really hawt tube dress and seemed like she had the intention to try it on. I told her that after seeing how she looked like during Prom, she should know better than to put it down. I was chased. I was piack-ed.

CASE 4
Time of Crime: 1618
Location: Topshop
All the other crap: And Shermeen (my classmate) showed me a kinky pom-pom like skirt which had lots of thread-like projections. I touched it and whispered to the girls: "Man... If my girl wore this, I'm not sure how to tell between the hair and the fabric" Again, piack-ed. As usual.
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And what followed up next were slaps onto the similar area, several times, by Grace. They increased in intensity, which includes pace, strength and degree of violence. She was repeatedly unleashing out her lethal energy onto my poor arm. You know Ivan damn poor thing one in this kinda situations, he cannot do anything but yell in pain. Sometimes the louder he yell the more fun the girls get the harder they hit. And I must warn you, Grace is one bloody scary woman when she's not happy with me.

Making her angry is like:

1)Suggesting to Joseph Ratzinger the implementation of a condom machine in the middle of Vatican City.

2)Asking the school principal if its alright for the girls in school to fold their uniform so they can expose their navel and let everybody see Melissa's love tatoo for our Chinese Tutor.

3)Answering your Chinese Listening Comprehension Question in English.

4)Questioning your Mum if she has menopause yet.

5)And if she does, is she still able to experience the full experience by my experienced Dad

6)Telling your Dad you just asked your Mum question 4 and 5.

posted@9:51 PM

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